Doors to the Kingdom

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In the past few weeks I have been re-reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, Living Buddha, Living Christ. Hanh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk and teacher who was an early opponent of the war in his country, and who has been a spiritual leader for decades in interreligious dialogue and peace movements.

Sometimes it’s good to see one’s faith through other eyes. Hanh’s insights into the life of Jesus are startlingly and enlightening because he comes to Jesus as a little child, comparatively speaking, and he responds to moments in Jesus’ life and teachings that we Christians no longer notice as the extraordinary revelations that they are.

For example, in commenting on Matthew’s view of the Kingdom of God as a seed planted within us, Hanh says, “We do not have to die to arrive at the gates of Heaven. In fact, we have to be truly alive. The practice is to touch life deeply so that the Kingdom of God becomes a reality. This is not a matter of devotion. It is a matter of practice. The Kingdom of God is available here and now.” And then Hanh links this to Jesus describing Himself as the door of salvation, the door to the Kingdom of God. The Buddha, says Hanh, is also described as a door, a teacher who shows us the way in this life.

“It is said that there are 84,000 Dharma doors, doors of teaching,” says Hanh. “We should not be afraid of more Dharma doors—if anything, we should be afraid that no more will be opened.” Without taking anything away from the precedence of Jesus as the door, Hanh says, “Each of us, by our practice and our loving-kindness, is capable of opening new Dharma doors. Society is changing . . . economic and political conditions are not the same as they were in the time of the Buddha or Jesus.”

Each of us can be a door for someone to the Kingdom of God.

These are difficult times for our church, for our country, for our world. In the midst of apparent chaos we lose our sight lines ahead. We may fixate on our own feet or only on the ground in front of us. In the face of confounding actions by leaders and the constant denigration of basic principles, we may doubt our own convictions of what is right and true. But, as Jesus said, these are the birth pangs of a new age.

Women’s ordination, the issue that has engaged so many in recent years, is one that defines for many of us what our moral and spiritual core really is. These are matters that clear away the underbrush of indifference and apathy as we struggle to recognize the church we thought we belonged to. But I am coming to see women’s ordination as a Dharma door, a door to the Kingdom of God, a door that opens outward to a wider, enlivening world, not inward to a dark and dank room.

If there is to be a parting of the ways in the future of this church, I hope we will remember Women’s Ordination as a catalyst that quickened the faith of many of us. I hope we will become doors to the Kingdom of God.

500 Words on the Coming Debacle

By this time next week, October 7, 2016, we could be living in a very different church. Or not. We don’t know yet, but we can be sure that this year’s Great Disappointment will have the ring of present truth to it.

Here are two ways to regard the coming purgation brought upon us by a prayerful, sincere, but desperate General Conference Autumn Council.

The first is the Apocalyptic. In this view, based on the doctrine of the imminent return of Christ to this earth, the delay in the second coming—and thus the responsibility for all the tragic suffering of the world since Christ’s birth—is the result of the Laodicean condition of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. This is unfortunate, of course, but it can be remedied by purging God’s remnant people of those who would stand in the way of the historic mission of the Church to seek and save the lost. Since the Church will be triumphant in the end, those who defy the General Conference, God’s highest authority on Earth, will have to go. And those who are the most defiant are the ones who insist upon ordaining women to the gospel ministry.

If it were a syllogism we could write it out this way:

Those who defy the General Conference defy God

Those who ordain women defy the General Conference

Therefore, they defy God.

Another syllogism inevitably follows:

The Second Coming must not be delayed

Women’s ordination delays the Second Coming

Therefore, it must be stopped.

Thus, a community that has survived for over 100 years will founder over an issue of justice. An issue that for all its rightness is a means to the larger end of living and doing the gospel of Jesus Christ in the fullest way possible.

The second way is Incarnational, based on the Sabbath experience of love for the earth, for the Exodus out of oppression, for living here and now in creativity. This view looks on the Church as community, a place to gather in and then disperse out from, to gather in again in time. It regards its purpose on earth to provide a home for people; that home has wide, inclusive boundaries and it is there whenever you leave it and return to it.

It is made up of people who have no certainty, but do have faith. Faith is courage that follows Jesus. It is experimental, present tense, a somewhat tense experience!

From this point of view women’s ordination frees up many talented people to recognize the calling God has given them, and to liberate them to work in faith. Women’s ordination is not an end in itself, but a means to an end—but an important means because women can communicate the Gospel in ways that are unique and absolutely needed.

To that end the General Conference is a servant, not a master. To deliver ultimatums destroys the home. It’s a divorce from which no one recovers. It does not have to be this way.

If Prayers Were Eggs: On Praying for the General Conference

An enduring image from Abraham Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address is that of the North and the South, Union and Confederate armies, both praying to the same God for victory.

If that gives you pause—as it should—think about the thousands of Adventists praying that God’s will should prevail in the decisions made at Annual Council this year.

These are Adventists who are the third and fourth generation in their family to claim the name of SDAs; these are those who have labored in service to the church for decades; these are young Adventists who are trying to find their way in the church and are dumbfounded by some of the decisions recently made. And there are others, deeply immersed in the workings of church administration, who are concerned at the direction many church members and organizations are taking in defiance of policy imperatives, who see these independent movements as the tendrils of the Devil creeping among us.

When we’re honest with ourselves we must admit that we can’t know for certain if our actions and plans are aligned with God’s. But sometimes, in the aftermath, we believe we see the hand of God working to accomplish what we could not. That’s the rub, isn’t it? Like Steve Jobs once said, we can’t connect the dots looking forward; we can only connect them looking back. Or as Kierkegaard said, we must live life forwards, but we can only understand it backwards.

How do you like your eggs? Imagine our prayers as ways to prepare an egg: how would yours look?

Poached: a prayer that is gentle, delicately preserved, and does not remain at high temperatures very long. It asks that everything go well and no one gets hurt.

Fried: prepared whole, with minimum accompaniments. Brisk, straight forward, it asks and assumes—in faith—that what is asked for will be delivered.

Scrambled: prepared by constant stirring, repeating the name of the Lord fervently and often in hopes that the whole thing will hold together. A cheesy smile helps.

Hard-Boiled: prepared at high temperatures with few words and no frills. A man’s prayer, understood by others only after penetrating the hard, brittle, outer shell.

Deviled: labor-intensive, long preparation time, filled with imprecations. Best left to the professionals.

Jesus asked that we pray for those who curse us, who use us in ways that demean us and cut the ground from under our feet. The recent actions of the General Conference in threatening to bust the unions for bringing women into the role of pastors have hurt many and discouraged even more. Now there is talk of a year of ‘grace’ for the unions to reconsider their sins and repent. This is hard to swallow, especially since it threatens the very gospel that we live within.

We pray, in this case, to reconcile ourselves to God. What God will do remains to be seen.

The Gospel of Imperfection

The Gospel is for losers

The proud, the arrogant, the blind, the halt, the lame, the penny-pinchers and the big spenders, the manipulators and the gullible, the doubters and the believers, the thieves, the liars, the murderers, the slanderers, the poor, the ignorant, the lazy, the tight-fisted and the self-indulgent, the impulsive and the fearful, the indifferent and the cynical, the gluttons and the ascetics, the hypocrites and the self-righteous, the foolish and the false, the bullies and the weak.

Have I left anybody out? Oh yes—the perfect.

The perfect don’t need the Gospel.  

For years self-help and business books have focused on achieving invulnerability, finding quick solutions, crushing one’s opponents, and using Machiavellian techniques to get ahead.

Recently, however, I’ve noticed an emphasis on being honest about our weaknesses. For example, Brene Brown’s presentation on vulnerability and recognizing one’s needs is the fourth most-watched TED Talk at 25 million views. The second most-watched TED talk is Amy Cuddy’s research on how our bodily stance can give us the confidence we lack for social encounters. Medium.com is a unique writing site built by the co-founder of Twitter. A constant theme of Medium’s posts comes from start-up entrepreneurs rhapsodizing about failing upward, launching out to new adventures, enjoying one’s failures, and learning from those who keep trying despite their constant failures.

Social media’s uptick of interest in our failures and mistakes isn’t reason enough for Christians to follow along, but the fact is we were there early. Christians know a great deal about missing the mark and falling short.

I’d like to explore a perspective on life which I think we deny. It’s a view which runs against both the officially optimistic attitudes of the self-help industry and the prosperity gospel business, yet it’s more realistic and hopeful than either of them. We ignore this viewpoint to our detriment, and in fact denial of it has damaged thousands of Christians through the centuries. But rightly understood this alternative view offers us a way to fully experience God’s grace in our lives.

We could call it the Gospel of Imperfection. There are three major points. The first is realism about our human condition, the second is finding language and symbols that truly reflect our spiritual experience, and the third is about living in humility.

Realism about our condition

Three things we can acknowledge about the human condition:

We are severely limited — we don’t have the strength, the will, or the resources to do life right;

We are deeply flawed — under the surface, close to the heart, we are all broken;

We are immature — we resist change, act badly when we don’t get our way, and become murderous when challenged.

In a word: We are imperfect. To be human is to be imperfect.

“We must somehow strip ourselves of our greatest illusions about ourselves,” says Thomas Merton, “frankly recognize in how many ways we are unlovable, descend into the depths of our being until we come to the basic reality that is in us, and learn to see that we are lovable after all, in spite of everything!

“This is a difficult job. It can only really be done by a lifetime of genuine humility (Merton, No Man is an Island).”

BUT: Matthew 5:48 commands us, “Therefore be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect,” the final lash of the whip for lazy Christians.

How many of us have struggled with this over the years, wanting to be sinless, yearning to be perfect so that God will accept us, only to realize how far off that perfection lies and how impossible it will be to achieve it. Yet the pressure to conform is constant if we listen to certain refrains.

We’re told that all that stands between the world and the final judgment is a perfected church that has informed the whole world of its rights and responsibilities under God’s laws. In fact, the delay in the Second Coming is because of us, our lack of passion for the message, our sinfulness, our disobedience. Thus, we thwart God’s sovereign will and timetable. We prolong the agony of the world until we can perfectly reflect, individually and as a church, the character of God. In this view Seventh-day Adventists are the center of the universe. Let’s hope the world never discovers the real reason why evil continues or the persecution will begin in earnest.

Marilynne Robinson says, “We all know about hubris. We know that pride goeth before a fall. The problem is that we don’t recognize pride or hubris in ourselves, any more than Oedipus did, any more than Job’s so-called comforters (Robinson, When I Was a Child I Read Books).”

What we might not realize is that the Greek word teleios, translated “perfect,” does not mean “to be without sin or flawless”, but rather is that which is “fully complete.” In the context of the whole passage that follows Matt. 5:48, “be perfect” means to be compassionate to all, to treat others equally and fairly.

To be perfect is to be complete, finished, whole. Nothing to be added or changed.

Even at our best we are open-ended, incomplete, limited. There is more in play here than meets the eye.

Language and Symbols

The second point is that for many of us the language and the symbols of conversion and daily living have changed from our childhood and youth. Language and symbols matter. Some move us, some leave us cold. I can recall Weeks of Prayer as a teenager in which we were exhorted to “surrender all,” and to be ”washed in the blood of the Lamb,” so that we might throw ourselves “at the foot of the cross.” I find that much of the 19th-century language about Jesus in hymns, sermons, and devotional material appeals to a sensibility that I lack.

Do you respond more naturally to a command or an invitation? Do you commit to God through love or duty? Perhaps both: duty sometimes leads to love, whereas what we do in love does not feel like a duty–unless it’s required by the one who is loved.

How do we imagine Jesus? As a king? A prophet? Our Father or a brother? Is he not all of that and more? Can you imagine walking with him in deep conversation down the Emmaus road or would you be tongue-tied in his presence, like waiting to get an autograph from a celebrity? At any point in our lives we may need one role in particular, but not to the exclusion of the others. We change, we evolve, life bears down on us and we need a savior, a comforter, a healer, a guide. Each role is different and we respond differently to each one. Our needs change, but Christ meets us where we are in the moment.

The thing is, we cannot predict what touches us most deeply about Christ or even where it might come from. We can’t even know what we need from Christ, except that we know we need Him.

It might be a song on the radio, a passage of Scripture or a poem read alone late at night, news of an unspeakable tragedy, or something a friend says that wells the tears up in our eyes and leaves us longing for God. All we can say is that we see in a glass darkly and what we usually see is a dim and muddy likeness of ourselves. Most of us are perfectly capable of beating ourselves up over our sins. We don’t need others to do that and Christ won’t do it.

Merton says, “We cannot find Him Who is Almighty unless we are taken entirely out of our own weakness. But we must first find out our own nothingness before we can pass beyond it: and this is impossible as long as we believe in the illusion of our own power (Merton, No Man is an Island ).”

So there it is: when we’re honest with ourselves about our weakness and imperfection, Christ finds us. That’s the flash point between us and Christ—our honesty and Christ’s incomparable response.

But God is not left without a witness and there are many paths that lead to the top of the mountain.

Christ for me is both a living symbol and Real Presence, a past historical figure and my mysterious companion in the present, the Word of God made flesh.

T.S. Eliot’s lines in The Waste Land lift the veil slightly:

Who is the third who walks always beside you?

When I count, there are only you and I together

But when I look ahead up the white road

There is always another one walking beside you

Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded

I do not know whether a man or a woman

–But who is that on the other side of you?

Attention to this point is to find the metaphors and analogies that resonate to our lived experience.

Humility as a Way of Life

The final point in the gospel of imperfection is the role of humility. Humility is really the hinge upon which all of this turns. It’s about our imperfection and our great need. It’s a way of regarding God and religion from the basement to the rooftop, down to up, from us to God.

Humility is the working mindset that results from gratitude. Gratitude for what, you might ask? Well, for one thing gratitude for giving us reasons for living instead of shuffling off this mortal coil. Albert Camus famously said there is only one serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. This is the question that demands an answer from each one of us. Everything else amounts to games. I don’t mean to be melodramatic, but for a lot of us the glass is almost always half empty. It takes the upside-down thinking of Jesus for us to see it as half full, with the possibility of it brimming over someday.

I think it’s revealing that the word ‘humility’ comes from the same root as ‘humor’ and ‘humanity’. The root word is humus, and humus is earth or dirt. To be human is to be made of the earth, as ancient and as glorious as the stars, and as common as . . . dirt. We’ve all come from the same stuff, so to speak. We’re all humus.

So humility is paradoxically the virtue that we aspire to without testifying that we’ve got it. Humility is seen, but not heard; others may tell us they see it in us but if we brag about it it’s pretty certain we don’t have it. To be humble is to not make comparisons.

But the glory of the creation story is that this mud can aspire to magnificent things. Humility as a way of life is remembering where we came from, Who sustains us, what we are capable of doing. It’s not about living with constant shame or feeling ourselves to be worthless or whipping ourselves for our sins.

And it’s not about inflicting that sense of worthlessness on others either. That’s humiliation—standard fare in the power arenas of our age. Humiliation is imposed on us from the outside and is a capitulation out of fear. Humility says comparisons are foolish and dangerous: “the problem with both ‘first’ and ‘last’ is that both are extremes (Kurtz and Ketcham, The Spirituality of Imperfection).”

Humility speaks from the inside and whispers our need of God. Gandhi said humility is a state of mind, but humble people aren’t conscious of their humility. C. S. Lewis put it succinctly when he said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” And it doesn’t hurt to have a sense of humor about all this.

Marilynne Robinson says of Jesus, “It is his consistent teaching that the comfortable, the confident, the pious stand in special need of the intervention of grace. Perhaps this is true because they are most vulnerable to error . . . (Robinson, When I Was a Child I Read Books).”

And Thomas Merton concludes, “The relative perfection which we must attain to in this life if we are to live as sons (and daughters) of God is not the twenty-four-hour-a-day production of perfect acts of virtue, but a life from which practically all the obstacles to God’s love have been removed or overcome (Merton, No Man is an Island).”

Living this way would change a lot about our relations with others. I think it would change how we got along in our communities too. If we thought about ourselves less and about others more it would turn our world upside down. We’d be better drivers, more caring to our spouses and partners, more interesting in conversation, and safer to be around. We’d be less anxious—humble people don’t have anything to prove. I think we’d listen more and probably pray more mindfully.

So here’s the thing: nothing I’ve said here is new or original. This is the Gospel before it became a job. Being realistic about our imperfections, finding language and symbols that reflect our experience, and living in humility, humor, and gratitude puts us squarely in God’s neighborhood.

I’ll give the last word to Thomas Merton:

“As long as we are on earth our vocation is precisely to be imperfect, incomplete, insufficient in ourselves, changing, hapless, destitute, and weak, hastening toward the grave. But the power of God and His eternity and His peace and His completeness and His glory must somehow find their way into our lives, secretly, while we are here, in order that we may be found in Him eternally as He has meant us to be (Merton, No Man is an Island).”

When The World is Too Much With Us

“And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to me.” John 12:32 (NRSV)

Being a carbon-based bipedal organism with a comparatively short life span has its drawbacks. At birth we are helpless, red-faced, squawking bundles of potential—if we can live long enough to gain a foothold on this third rock from the sun.

Most other mammal babies get up and walk within minutes of hitting the ground—we take years. We can’t see as keenly as eagles, trot as fast as horses, climb as good as monkeys, or swim like dolphins. Almost everything we’ve done to overcome these physical deficiencies is through extensions—mechanical devices that give us reach, sharpen our hearing, project our voices, and peel back surfaces to see underneath and beyond. There has to be some payoff for all this vulnerability and there is—we have imaginations.

The imagination lifts us up and out of our reality into another place, even another time. A vibrant imagination is necessary for a child to try out scenarios, play with images and ideas, and stretch the mind in the process. Somewhere I’ve read that day-dreaming is part of mental exercise, as important as toughening the muscles and building endurance.

Our imaginations specialize. Architects can visualize their buildings in three dimensions while most of us can’t “see” the structure until it’s built, a disadvantage that is not trifling. Others spin stories, bring clay to life under their fingers, or uncover the symmetry of equations. I marvel at those who can leap from intuition to concept to theory to image like a ninja at parkour. At times I write like a man trying to thread a needle behind his back: it can be done, but it takes a great deal of time and there will be blood.

Blessedly, one form of expression triggers another. When I was a journalism student struggling for a lead to a story I’d often take a break, get myself down to the college library, and spend some time with Communication Arts, a magazine that features some of the best art and design in the world. Something about absorbing all that visual creativity and the possibility of wonder just over the page usually set me free to write my version of the truth.

So too in my spiritual landscape: I’ve found that seeing through another’s creative vision often gives me new eyes to see what was there all along. Through the years I’ve found artists who give me a place to stand and thus change my understanding. Chagall is one, Roualt is another, Picasso, Rothko, Cezanne, Paul Klee—and Dali. One painting of his in particular has been a kind of talisman for me, the function of which is to bring me to a humbling perception of humanity.

Dali’s Christ of St. John of the Cross (1951) was based on a drawing by a 16th century monk named St. John of the Cross. Christ hangs suspended on the cross above the world, unbloodied, without nails or wounds. The observer looks down at the top of Christ’s bowed head and simultaneously at a landscape of fisherman and boats. The effect is disconcerting at first as we plunge down vertically past the Christ and immediately level off to a horizontal plane. Dali traced inspiration for the extreme angle back to a dream he had, the vision of which appeared to him in color as the cosmic Christ.

christofsaintjohnofthecrossdali

We see Christ from God’s point of view; His Son, His beloved Son, eternally hanging there above the world, floating in silent and profound dignity, magnificent in death. Down below, the fishermen, oblivious to the Light of the World above them, draw their boat up on the shore. One is standing at the stern in water up to his knees while his companion on the shore drags out the nets to dry. They seem indecisive or perhaps just tired. If they caught any fish we’re not seeing the evidence. They may be heading home, weary from work, wondering how long they can survive without a catch.

The painting was purchased in the early 50s by the Glasgow Corporation for 8,200 pounds sterling, considered quite extravagant at the time. In 1961 a visitor heaved a brick through the canvas, apparently incensed by the angle that looked down upon Christ instead of up. The painting was restored and now hangs in the Kelingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow, the curators having stoutly resisted an offer of $127 million by the Spanish government.

When the world is too much with us, when we find ourselves loathing humanity, when we feel, with shame, our complicity in the wickedness and suffering of this age, we can be lifted up, free and clear, to look down through Christ and see our tired world from a new perspective—one that through imagination wounds and heals.

Personal Satan

NightThoughts

I can believe in a personal satan

When I see my words jetting forth
As scalding steam,
To sear and scorch another.

No more proof is needed
Than the rush of violence boiling up
Behind the eyes,
Behind the smiles that cut both ways.

Yes, there is a personal satan for each one of us.

How else to explain the halting speech of gratitude,
The lame stumblings of thank-you’s and please?
The blind, the deaf, the weirdly twisted conversations
In elegant side-rooms and vestibules?

We have our satans, our adversaries, the ones
Who throw down the bolas of our making
Around the ankles of our friends, our lovers, our children.
Even our blessed enemies.

We scrape for words of repentance,
Humility, simple wonder. There is dryness here.

Yet, words of scorn flow with vigor, with bounty,
With health brimming,

Wave to wave,
From our personal Satan.

The Blessings of Doubt

FogCliff-2How it tilts while you are thinking,
and then you know. How it makes no difference
for a long time—then it does. — William Stafford, “Figuring Out How It Is”

The world is made up of two kinds of people: those who think they know and those who know they don’t. I am definitely in the second camp. . . I think. How can we even make definitive statements like the one above when we are “of two minds”? How can we know anything with certainty?

I am fascinated and slightly repelled by people who speak with absolute certainty. I wonder how they can be so sure, why they think they have an inside track on knowledge, and most of all, do they ever admit to being wrong? Confucius said, “Do you know what true knowledge is? To know when you know a thing, and to know when you do not know a thing. That is true knowledge.” Epictetus, that tough old Stoic, used to say, “You can’t teach a man something he thinks he already knows.” And therein lies the beginning of wisdom, without a doubt . . .

It’s not easy being this way. For one thing, living in a state of doubt means constantly seeking evidence, testing, sifting, weighing what appears, until something emerges from this process that offers a glimmer of hope. There are facts, of course, and necessary truths, such as 2 + 2 = 4, and all those a priori truths that Kant lured out of the shadows. For the doubter, even these pose at least a momentary pause (Whaddya mean these are axiomatic? Prove it!) until the mind overrules the emotions in the interest of saving time.

Down at the level of leather-on-the-pavement this kind of epistemological suspicion can become quite inconvenient. For awhile, after the United States Postal Service misdirected a couple of bills and my electricity was cut off, I could not bring myself to drop any letters through a post box slot. Instead, I delivered the check in person, not trusting a service that daily delivers, with uncanny precision, tons of junk mail to each and every citizen with an address. I got over it. Eventually.

For years I have wished that I could hold a viewpoint with confidence, if not with complete assurance, for it would make life so much easier. Inevitably, I admit that an opposing perspective has its points, that in all honesty some of its points are better than mine, and after all, who am I to say that I stand upon the solid rock, while all around is shifting sand? Seeing multiple points of view often leads to double vision—and to vertigo—that existential disease that leaves one panting, hanging over the abyss while mice gnaw at the sleeve caught on a branch that soon will snap. Dubious workarounds present themselves in such desperate circumstances. One begins a sentence without knowing how it will end, but the mind churns on, dredging up in nanoseconds all manner of rusty facts and anecdotes, the tires of memory lying at the bottom of our subconscious, the flotsam and jetsam of headlines and conversation. Occasionally, the will to power asserts itself, all niceties are sheared away, and the mind fastens, terrier-like, upon a position, any position that looks like it could withstand an absent-minded glance, if not a steely scrutiny. In those moments, one feels a giddiness that can be mistaken for certainty until someone breaks the silence that follows with a sigh and a shake of the head.

Time and time again I’ve had the experience of suddenly seeing something familiar shift ever so slightly and take on a new form. In those moments I wonder at the filters I’ve apparently installed that prevent me from seeing the full spectrum of visible light. Once having seen the new thing it cannot be ignored, of course, and one is left to ponder how much else has been overlooked or ignored because it simply did not register on our consciousness.

But selective perception is not the only constraint upon us. In discussions I used to be the one who waited so long with a question or a comment that the general train of thought had hurtled over the horizon by the time I offered something up. I wanted to make sure that my question did not betray any lack of knowledge or foresight. Once I realized that recognizing our ignorance is the first movement toward learning, much of the ego simply melted away.

So I bow to the idea that we are social animals and that we learn together. I’m rarely capable of doing a Descartes—shutting myself up in a little room and doubting my way down through the detritus to the solid foundation of indubitable existence. I learn faster when I’m with a group of people who have maximum curiosity and the willingness to share it. Most of what we know is handed to us, warm to the touch, from people like ourselves or sometimes from people we think we’d like to be. In those cases, having our doubts can be a good thing because they give us a moment to step back and look at the wide shot first.

Humility and grace—the two virtues that free us up to learn. Of that I am certain.

Help, Help, I’m Being Depressed

Those people should not be listened to who keep saying the voice of the people is the voice of God, since the riotousness of the crowd is always very close to madness. — Alcuin, c. 804

On an otherwise lovely day in the tentative transition zone between a Maryland winter and spring I fell into a melancholia that lasted into the night. Some might say this was a perfectly natural reaction to an American Zeitgeist that had inexorably, over the months, twisted its grip like the coils of a python around the necks of the innocents. Others, less given to reflection on civilization and its discontents, were insistent that America would be great again, and proved it by punching out reporters and protesters who dared object to the emperor, who not only had no clothes but was gleefully parading, butt naked, across the arena stages of these Untied States of America.

As the Republican party trudged along on its trail of tears, the E pluribus unum (out of the many, one) of elimination trials powered along at a burn rate of millions per day, each approved Superpac message arcing through its trajectory like incendiary flares. In that white-hot glare every pore, every bead of sweat, every curl of the lip and glint of the eye transfixed the doubtful and transported the faithful.

Whatever is new is news — history need not apply  — and the news, like an unholy simulacrum of God’s creation, was brought forth every evening and morning in the fullness of time. The chairman of CBS chortled that whatever else was clear in the wake of yet another episode of the reality show called the Republican debates, the news for the stockholders was very, very good as 14.5 million viewers tuned in on February 13 for the Saturday night fights.

Throughout it all the doctor from Detroit, Ben Carson, ambled through his campaign with a benign smile as he pronounced the president a psychopath, Obamacare worse than slavery, and the pyramids — who knew? — to be ancient granaries. In the debates he was both literally and figuratively sidelined, giving way to the bombast of his opponents, while occasionally bleating that he got no air time.

Carson’s campaign was fueled from the beginning by his inspirational story of rising from poverty to become one of the world’s leading neurosurgeons. He was the recipient of countless awards, honorary doctorates, and royalties stemming from his autobiographical books. A movie starring Cuba Gooding, Jr. was made of his life. It was a good life.

Friends of mine who knew him from the Spencerville SDA Church spoke of him with respect for his accomplishments while quietly sidestepping a commitment to his campaign. But many Adventists believed he was sent “for such a time as this,” and enthusiastically followed his every pronouncement on the campaign trail.

When Adventists hit the news it’s rarely a good thing. Despite our relevance as an indigenous American product of the Second Great Awakening, our global hospital and educational systems, and our healthy lifestyles, we usually get pegged in the media as vegetarian blood brothers of David Koresh. Add to that the full coverage of our refusal to ordain women during last summer’s world-wide gathering of delegates at San Antonio, and we can be forgiven for wanting a different profile.

Thus, when Ben Carson, Seventh-day Adventist physician and inspirational speaker, dissed the President at a National Prayer Breakfast, it seemed like once again we’d be known for all the wrong reasons. And then he announced his candidacy. Compelled, he said, by thousands who implored him to run, and given the green light by a revelation from God, Carson jumped into a crowded and boisterous Republican field.

Well, we thought, okay, maybe his personal integrity would make up for his lack of experience. Maybe all that street cred he’d built up all those years, and his notable charisma, would carry the day. He might bring some civility and professionalism to a fractious national arena. His political positions didn’t seem all that different, in many ways, from those of Cruz and Trump, but at least he didn’t raise his voice when he insulted  immigrants, his Democratic opponents, and the president.

We want to believe that political candidates don’t toy with our trust. We hope that we’re seeing the real person  when he speaks and that he believes what he says. We hope that these candidates are not just pandering to their audiences to get the vote. Most of all, we hope that their personal integrity runs like a silver thread from past to present, that whatever their positions on issues they respect themselves enough not to bow the knee to whatever Mammon looms up demanding their worship.

But no. Carson took himself out of the race in the same oblique fashion that he entered it. He did not join in his last debate, but it was unclear if that meant he’d be heading home to Florida to chill. Finally, he made the decision, picked up his bags and headed for the exit. At that point one could suppose that he’d retire gracefully, beaten but not bowed, his dignity intact to fight for his causes another day, another way.

Thus, when he endorsed Donald Trump, the very antithesis of his own campaign style and of his personal Christian values, it was a stunner. He was consistent, though, in that his flair for the bizarre came through when he declared Trump to be “cerebral” and that they’d buried the hatchet. There may be depths to Trump that only Ben Carson and Trump’s wife have seen. Humans are complex, act for a variety of reasons, and do things surprising even to themselves.

But the notion that a kinder, gentler Trump might appear on January 20, 2017 is about as plausible as Ben Carson signing on with all his heart and soul to the whole Trumpian package. Because that’s what he did when he endorsed Donald Trump on March 11, 2016. Carson said yes to The Wall, to reducing freedom of speech and of the press, to violently throwing peaceful demonstrators out of public spaces, to labeling an entire country as rapists and murderers, and to regarding waterboarding as but the beginning of horrors for captured enemies.

So that is why I fell into a melancholy. While I would never have voted for Carson for president I respected his self-discipline, his abilities, and his faith. Chris Christie endorsing Trump seemed sheer opportunism for two combatants who certainly gave the impression that their blows were intended. But Carson?

Has all this rancor, this bile, this winter of our discontent, just been a show? Off the stage, behind the scenes, out of range of a hot mike, are these candidates really just good buds who have figured out who the alpha dog is and where each of them might line up in the pack? Were Carson’s good manners, apparent Christian faith, and personal integrity just chips he was willing to trade for a bigger score?

I had hoped he was better than that.

Are Adventist Leaders Our High Priests?

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How are Adventist church leaders like Jesus? According to Weymouth Spence, president of Washington Adventist University (WAU), they have been given authority over all people so that they might give eternal life to those whom God has given into their care. This is the interpretation President Spence gives to the “High Priestly” prayer of Jesus in John 17:1-26.

In the August 2015 edition of The Gateway, WAU’s section of Columbia Union Conference’s monthly magazine, The Visitor, Spence takes care to congratulate Ted N. C. Wilson on his re-election as the General Conference president, and to offer up the wish that “the Lord will grant our leaders the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to lead our church in the 21st century.” It’s an ambivalent gesture, especially in the turbulent wake of Wilson’s re-election, the controversial revision of several of the Fundamental Beliefs, and the rejection of women’s ordination.

But it’s the unequivocal identification of…

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Still Here: Five Ways to Live after GC2015

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Like so many others I am deeply disappointed at the results of the vote against women’s ordination at the GC session today. Many are saying that this must be God’s will. Since those who engineered this No vote and those who voted against it also think the result is God’s will, I will say that I don’t know God’s will in this matter—at least not definitively. But what I can say with some confidence is this.

First, God has always honored the freedom given by God to humans. It’s not that God doesn’t care about how we treat each other on this earth, it’s rather that God is hoping against hope that we will care how we treat each other. Sometimes we get it right; usually we don’t. But God doesn’t throw in the towel just because it takes us decades—millennia usually—to commit ourselves to the right path. But above all else God will not rescind our freedom. So I don’t think God tipped the vote. This was a human endeavor and like most things in life it was a test. Not a test posed by God to catch us out, but a test of what it means to be authentically human and authentically followers of Jesus. And in my view we failed.

But this is not our final exam; every day is another opportunity to follow Jesus and to do the right thing. God has time, infinite time. God can and will wait for us to listen, to have the courage to stand up to injustice, and the grace to carry on doing what we believe to be right no matter who stands in the path and proclaims a political decision as God’s will.

Second, Paul says all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. “Good,” in my experience, doesn’t always mean I get what I want. Nor does it mean that what I get I can even understand right now as beneficial to me. What I take it to mean is that we have to learn to adapt on the run. God meets us where we are, not where we were. Be here now, God says. Be somewhere else some other time. So here we are: now what?

A friend pointed out that when the vote for women’s ordination first came up in 1990 it was 24% in favor; in 1995 the “Yes” vote was 31.2%; today it was 41.3% in favor (courtesy of David Trim, Director of GC Archives). That’s agonizingly slow but it’s headed in the right direction. This is going to take time. Many of us may not see its completion in our lifetime. But if this is right and if it’s needed this will prevail.

I grew up on Adventist college campuses. My grandparents were teachers, and since I lived with them from the age of three until I graduated from college, I saw the light and the dark of Adventism up close. I can remember my grandmother weeping quietly in her room, hoping, I suppose, that I couldn’t hear and wouldn’t ask what was wrong. But I asked my grandfather anyway. My grandfather was British, almost courtly in his courteousness, and incapable of gossip or accusations against “the brethren.” But it was clear he had been deeply hurt too, and though he would not tell me what—or who—was troubling him I could see the tears in his eyes. “This is God’s church,” he told me, “but we don’t always do what God wants.”

I don’t think Adventism has an exclusive claim on being God’s church. Churches are a broken but valiant effort on the part of humans to get together and try to hold each other up. More often than not—way more often than not—we let each other down. We did that today and we’ll probably do it again tomorrow. But our better nature says we don’t have to do it that way and our faith can say, “Right. Try again, and again, and again.”

God has given us everything we need to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly. I’m not saying that this is easy; on the contrary, it’s the hardest thing any Christian can do, given our inclination to take up the sword in God’s name to slay our own.

So here’s what I’m going to do. More than at any point in my life I’m going to follow Jesus. I think I’ve barely understood what that means, but as I say, God is patient. Infinite possibilities are offered every day. Adventure awaits! More specifically, this is what I want to do

  • Learn in humility
  • Live in grace
  • Worship in gratitude
  • Look for the good
  • Fear no evil

That’s the general outline. Details to follow as I have the faith, hope, and love to carry on.

(Photo by Etienne Boulanger on Unsplash.com)